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Created
Sat, 22/04/2023 - 08:15
Local elections have no bearing on NHS funding or waiting times – yet Starmer repeats claim that was tagged as dishonest Keir Starmer has again claimed that votes for Labour in next month’s local elections will mean shorter NHS waiting lists – just two days after the same claim was tagged by Twitter with ‘context’ […]
Created
Sat, 22/04/2023 - 03:00

I know it’s before six on Saturday morning. I know your eyes are too crusted shut to look at this stinky piece of cardstock I’m shoving in front of your face.

But today is Persimmon’s birthday party. I found this invitation among coffee grounds and overripe bananas in the kitchen trash, underneath a pristine paper towel, where it surely must have been crumpled by mistake.

Don’t ask why I was looking through the trash. That’s not important.

What is important is that this invitation makes a baker’s dozen of festivities to which my siblings and I have been invited this month, and I fear you are not treating these occasions with the requisite level of respect.

Why are you still in bed? We have so much to do.

Persimmon’s celebration begins at Wacky Jim’s Trampoline Park promptly at two o’clock today, and you need to help me find my rubbery socks. I own at least four pairs, because four of the seven birthday parties I’ve attended this month have been held at this same trampoline park, yet the socks are always nowhere to be found.

Created
Sat, 22/04/2023 - 02:29
Shameful attack on Liverpool Community Independents councillor and candidate has backfired on Labour. Skwawkbox has unpicked one of its biggest lies Labour’s shameful use of its sewer-campaign tactics in Liverpool to attack a popular young left-wing councillor has predictably backfired – and managed the unprecedented feat of uniting all the city council’s opposition parties in […]