Well, registered voters of Bradford County. It’s been quite a ride. As my one and only term as transportation commissioner comes to an end, I can’t help but look back and wonder: Where did it all go wrong?
Losing this election by the biggest voting margin in our state’s history will not tarnish everything I’ve accomplished. A new five-year transportation improvement plan, a revision of the subdivision staging policy, and yes, one unfortunate late-night visit to a twenty-four-hour CVS Pharmacy.
To my 219 loyal supporters, give or take a few mail-in voters yet to be counted, I thank you. And to all the rest of you, let me say again that, yes, I did stuff my penis into that blood pressure cuff. But let me reiterate: it was not a sex thing.
Nor was I drunk or on any narcotics. I simply wanted to see what it would feel like.
It was 2:00 a.m. I made absolutely sure there were no other customers in the store. All I wanted to do was insert “myself” into the medical device, receive a quick squeeze, and a “How’s the family?” then I’d purchase a pint of Chunky Monkey and be on my way. Where’s the harm in that?
