First Circle: Limbo
Midway on our journey in life, we find ourselves in a dark kitchen, surrounded by oak cabinets and laminate flooring, our savings account wholly lost. Welcome to reno limbo, a place where nothing happens, as the good crews are booked for several centuries. In this circle, pagans shout “DIY! DIY!” toiling back and forth to Home Depot, lost in the labyrinth, unable to find help or penny tile. They refuse to accept the biddings of Jesus, a master carpenter from Piscataway. Above the gates, a sign reads, ABANDON YOUR HOME, YE WHO CAN AFFORD IT.