Gone are the days of storming the gates. In this new era of resistance, we A/B test the gates, analyze the bounce rate of our demands, and push our uprising to GitHub for feedback.
Yes, the revolution is here.
No, it is not televised.
It’s currently available as a limited-access newsletter
and a lightly branded Discord server.
We don’t burn flags—we adjust brand guidelines.
We don’t chant—we run sentiment analysis.
We don’t topple systems—we disrupt them gently, with curated UX flows and tasteful earth tones.
Core Pillars of the Optimized Revolution:
1. Personalization
Each citizen receives a tailored resistance journey based on their cookies, voting record, and Spotify Wrapped.
2. Seamless Integration
Our protests sync with Google Calendar. Choose “in-person,” “virtual,” or “spiritually aligned.”
3. Performance Metrics
Anger is tracked via Fitbit. Tear gas exposure now counts toward your Apple Health goals.
