(A production office. PRODUCER 1 sits at a desk. Enter PRODUCER 2.)
PRODUCER 1: Take a seat. You said you have something Christmassy for me?
PRODUCER 2: Strap in, buddy. This one’s gonna be a doozy.
PRODUCER 1: Ha! Can’t wait.
PRODUCER 2: Okay, so: Curtain up. It’s Christmas Eve. A young girl named Clara is opening gifts. One happens to be from her favorite uncle, a kind of creepy mask-wearing guy named Drosselmeyer.
PRODUCER 1: Don’t love this…
PRODUCER 2: Hear me out: It’s a nutcracker.
(Pause.)
PRODUCER 1: A what?
PRODUCER 2: It’s a thing, you know, I don’t know. It cracks chestnuts.
PRODUCER 1: So Clara loves chestnuts?
PRODUCER 2: She’s never eaten them.
PRODUCER 1: So she hates the Nutcracker?