Have you considered that I prefer them warm?
Have you considered that I don’t need to because it’s cold enough in my frigid, dead, frigid uterus?
Have you considered that I plan to have kids the old-fashioned way—with a broken condom and a man who seems “good enough”?
Have you considered that I’m considering adopting (a dog)?
Have you considered that I can’t because I sold them all already to get through my MFA program? What did I do with my MFA? None of your goddamn beeswax.
Have you considered that I’d be a horrible mother? I have no manners, as I’ll soon prove to you.
Have you considered that I’m only seven? In hamster years.
Have you considered that children don’t even pay taxes, so what’s the point?
Have you considered Halle Berry? I’ve said enough.
Have you considered that I don’t want kids, I only want succubi?
Have you considered freezing your kidneys? They look a bit overheated.