Reading

Created
Wed, 07/05/2025 - 22:00

“The Darién Gap, a stretch of nearly impenetrable rainforest along the border with Colombia, was transformed into a migratory highway in recent years as more than 1.2 million people from around the world traveled north toward the United States [seeking humanitarian aid].”AP

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It’s me: a woman who crawled through the most dangerous terrain on earth with my entire family for the sole purpose of stabbing a pen-like object into a series of perforated holes at a school gymnasium, YMCA, or struggling retail location. I’m not a deeply sympathetic figure seeking asylum from an unstable government, poverty, or persecution, but a specter-like being whose entire motivation is canceling your vote out with mine and, god willing, forcing you to circle the parking lot at your community center one extra time after snagging the choice spot the Founding Fathers would have wanted you to have.

Created
Wed, 07/05/2025 - 13:22

On 16 April, the UK Supreme Court judged that ‘sex’, in the Equality Act (2010), refers to ‘biological sex’, which they define as ‘the sex of a person at birth’. This has been welcomed by many journalists and politicians as clarifying, as providing necessary clarity: despite it being a highly specific and vexed judgment, it […]

Created
Wed, 07/05/2025 - 09:50

I graduated in 2019 from Vassar with a degree in PR and communications. After studying abroad in Italia (check out my Instagram highlights), I thought I was qualified to apply for jobs abroad. I submitted my profile of reels and posts on Handshake, and by the grace of God—and a Canva Premium subscription—got a response. The Vatican was looking for help jazzing up their profile, and who better to run their brand than a Gen-Z American?

Catholicism has 1.2 billion followers, so they were influencers before it was a thing. I’m tasked with converting centuries of solemn tradition into swipeable, digestible, algorithm-friendly vibes for all of these people. I have to turn the oldest influencer into the newest, trendiest one.

Officially, my title is Director of Digital Evangelism and Brand Stewardship. Unofficially, I am the Vatican’s social media intern and sole poster on @TheVatican. I walk around the grounds and take photos of stained glass, Loewe-coded red loafers, and sometimes, the pope’s shadow looking “mysterious but approachable” (his words) against an eighth-century basilica wall.

Created
Wed, 07/05/2025 - 04:26

Since the founding of our august institution, we have awarded promotion and tenure based on how many pages of your research we could read before falling asleep and the rumors we heard about the time you insulted that emeritus professor’s new vest. In short, we awarded tenure based on vibes.

But thanks to a lawsuit that we can’t discuss and probably never even happened, we have formalized our promotion and tenure criteria so that everyone can be held to the same nearly impossible standard. These guidelines were written by almost-retired professors who never could have met these standards back in the 1980s, when all you needed for tenure was 1.5 publications and a bottle of scotch in your desk.

Research

To demonstrate excellence in research, achieve all of the following: