Originally published December 31, 2018.
1. Learn to play the pianoforte moderately well. Stick to duets.
2. Stop taking long walks in the rain while underdressed.
3. Throw out the expired smelling salts. Replace promptly.
4. Avoid rakes with jaunty names that start with W. Perfect sideburns are not indicative of mature relationship potential.
5. Love my sisters but be slightly more interesting and intelligent than they are.
6. Forgive my father for mangling the line of inheritance.
7. Ignore my mother’s marriage advice. Especially if it involves a not-so-distant relation or anyone in the clergy.
8. Seriously, stick to that thing about the walks. Consumption’s the worst.
9. Argue less about who’s taking which carriage. We’ll all get there eventually.
10. Prepare witty discourse before the ball. Don’t get caught off guard mid-quadrille while not quite touching the man I hate right now but might marry.
11. Stop moaning about how poor I am in front of the servants.
