Listen, I don’t know how to say this, but I think I’m finally okay with being trodden on. Just a little. Just enough to feel the reassuring weight of a billionaire’s boot pressing gently against my liberty-loving neck.
For years, I stood tall against tyranny. I flew my DON’T TREAD ON ME flag so high it violated three HOA regulations and traumatized at least one bald eagle. I stockpiled an arsenal so vast that Bass Pro Shops sent me a Christmas card. I wrote Facebook posts in all caps demanding FREEDOM FROM GOVT OPPRESSION while using the same device the NSA is probably reading this on right now. But in the midst of it all, I had a revelation.
What if I’ve been focusing on the wrong tyrants?