“Trump threatens ‘economic force’ to make Canada ‘51st State’ after PM resignation.” — The Independent
- - -
America, you know Canada as your hat. We’d like to keep it that way.
As you may be aware, Donald Trump has been flirting with illegal expansionist fantasies again. They include possibly invading Panama, taking over Greenland in some kind of rent-to-own scheme, and, of course, making Canada the fifty-first state.
We are flattered to be asked, but think maybe this whole thing is moving a little too fast. We’re super busy with work, and there’s that thing with our mom, who is now our dad. It’s complicated.
Canada has been right here, hanging out with America’s frosty bits, for 157 years. It’s been great, mostly. You seem to like us when you remember us. Everyone needs a friend who can explain the rules of curling. And we love you too. Or, at least, we love certain aspects of you.