Cat-Hair-Covered Yoga Pants: Voted for Harris
Toupee-Hair-Covered Suit Pants: Voted for Trump
Bear-Hair-Covered Vintage L.L.Bean Board Shorts: Wrote in “RFK Jr. + The Worm”
Pants Worn Only Every Four Years That Were Bought by Someone Else: Voted for Jill Stein
Frayed Corduroys That Nobody Wants or Needs: Voted for Cornel West
Fair-Trade, Ethically Sourced Cotton Trousers: Did not vote in protest
Novelty Pajama Bottoms with Weed Motif: Forgot to vote
Wasn’t Sure Which Pants to Wear: Did not vote because busy giving interview to New York Times about being undecided
Pink Capri Pants: Told husband she voted for Trump but voted for Harris
Blue Capri Pants: Told husband he voted for Harris but voted for Trump
Black-Belted Denim That Barely Covers Pale White Belly: Voted for Trump but only because he gave him $75 million after destroying Twitter
Red, White, and Blue Bodybuilding Pants: Duh