I only have 137 days until my wedding, but I’m starting to worry I won’t finish all of the planning. You see, my mom just cashed in decades worth of goddamned Mother’s Day coupons. All at once.
Let me back up—I was a small, cute child with no money and a dream: a dream to give, honor, and celebrate. Mother’s Day coupons were the perfect way to show Mom what she meant to me. But now, I curse childhood me as I sit here wiping the baseboards of her study. It’s just Lavender & Sea Breeze Mrs. Meyers and me—for the sixth time this week. It’s only Tuesday.
I often wondered why she held on to those expertly crafted coupons, never cashing in a single one. I used to think, “Aw, she loves all of my artwork,” or “She’s saving these to show her grandkids,” but now I know she was waiting and plotting. Just when I thought I’d reached adulthood and started a family of my own, I’m being pulled back.
I sneeze from the baseboard dust and grumble, “Why, Mom, why?”