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Instead of screaming, I turned on the faucet.
The post A morning’s tale appeared first on Jeffrey Zeldman Presents.
Three times in the last week, Trump expressed ignorance when responding to questions about his signature policies.
The post “I Don’t Know.” Trump’s Go-To Response to All Sorts of Questions appeared first on The Intercept.
Julie Owens, who bravely tugged on a tankini in mid-January in order to chaperone her twins to an indoor water park. After nearly swallowing a wet Band-Aid in the wave pool, Owens—in a show of tremendous valor—merely dry heaved thrice.
Hannah Robertson, who not only took her eleven-year-old to Sephora but also bought the pubescent child a sixty-five-dollar jade roller and twenty-five-dollar toner, all without once rolling her eyes or mentioning the patriarchy.
Elizabeth McGrackle, who prepared for a dinner party by buying groceries, planning the menu, cleaning the house, and then setting the table after retrieving ten plates, two bowls, four drinking glasses, and a moldy piece of her wedding china from under her teenage son’s bed.
Carrie Roberts, who stoically drank lukewarm Barefoot Moscato at a trampoline park that was blasting the Trolls 2 soundtrack, so that her daughter might attend Rayleigh from cheer camp’s birthday party.
April Peterson, who went through twenty hours of labor and an emergency C-section while her husband sat in a recliner and loudly sighed about the vending machine’s lack of Funyuns.
Deep-dish Eucharist wafers
Oprah added to Sistine Chapel ceiling
Sunday mass followed by improv set
Brian Urlacher’s hair growth declared a miracle
Sacramental wine replaced with Malört
“Our Father” to be pronounced with hilarious Chicago accent
College of Cardinals renamed “The Wieners Circle”
Baptismal font dyed green on St. Patrick’s Day
Raphael’s The School of Athens exchanged for the Chicago Bean
St. Peter’s Basilica renamed “Willis Basilica”
Fisherman’s Ring traded for 1985 Bears Super Bowl ring
Carl Sandburg resurrected to write inspirational poem about Vatican City
Divorce now allowed if spouse puts ketchup on hot dog
Chorus from Chicago’s “Saturday in the Park” added to Bach’s Mass in B Minor
Green Bay excommunicated
Cardinals now booed
Air Jordans instead of papal slippers
If pope digs out the popemobile, he can put the Chair of St. Peter there until he returns
“The Bukele model is built upon Kilmar Abregos — there are thousands of them.”
The post CECOT Is What the Bukele Regime Wants You to See appeared first on The Intercept.
“Using nicotine is unequivocally very bad for you. It’s also, unfortunately, what gets me through my days.” —Emily Gould, from her essay “The Secret Shame of Smoking Moms”
Moms don’t want trinket dishes for Mother’s Day—they want cigarettes. A mom would rather have a bag full of cigarette butts than a fluted trinket dish. That said, moms do want ashtrays. So they will use that little dish to ash the cigarettes you will buy her.
Moms don’t want smocked dresses. Moms do NOT want to fold their pendulous breasts into elasticated smock-front dresses. Moms do NOT want thin pleats of fabric expanding and contracting across their pendulous breasts. Please do NOT buy these for the moms.
For the 84-year-old Jun, staging his own show-stopping fake funeral becomes a glorious celebration of life still to be lived
- A film by Mari Young and Anika Kan Grevstad
- by Nikhil Mahant
The New York Review of Books presents the fifth and final installment in a series of online events hosted by Fintan O’Toole. For our final event, O’Toole hosts Congresswoman Pramila Jayapal for a conversation about the future of progressive politics during the second Trump administration. You may view all available recordings in this series on this page.
The post The Future of Progressive Politics appeared first on The New York Review of Books.
How everyday scents can influence friendships
The post Smells Like Friend Spirit appeared first on Nautilus.