Reading

Created
Wed, 29/10/2025 - 04:00

It all started when Instagram introduced the twenty-slide photo dumps. Trying to post the correct ratio of photos to memes to appear both off-the-grid and clued-in to the minutiae of internet culture is tough. There are only so many selfies, photos of my dog, and funny-shaped carpet stains I can share before I come off as a shallow, boring influencer.

Floundering, I decided to post an image in my dump of a book a roommate left behind—The Picture of Dorian Gray. Then, as always, the case with the danger of expressing an opinion on the internet, a Reply Guy asked me about it, and I found myself in a masochistic corner of my own making. Were they to discover my photo was a plea for attention, my carefully curated online persona would come unraveling. They might wonder if my bed really is made every morning, if that’s my real dog, or if I am even a good person.

Out of options, I read Oscar Wilde’s seminal work in one night, like an executioner was watching me. The book was actually relatable, even good. It made me… think. Perhaps the relentless pursuit of youth ultimately depletes our humanity? Or something. I told my Reply Guy this, and he said, “Nice.”

Created
Tue, 28/10/2025 - 23:00

“Seven of the nine universities that the White House initially approached about a plan to steer more federal money toward schools aligned with President Trump’s priorities have refused to endorse the proposal.” —The New York Times

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Dear Little Daisies Preschool,

Following the rejection of our university-level Compact for Academic Excellence by certain elite institutions, we have refocused our efforts on more receptive partners and a more malleable student population. Therefore, we are pleased to offer you a $250 grant from the US Department of Education. We trust that you will join our mission to restore rigor, accountability, and competitive spirit to the preschool sector.

To receive our largesse, you must adhere to the strictures outlined below.