The wokeness epidemic has infected none of our institutions harder than our nation’s college campuses. It’s a sad sight to see these once bastions of higher learning transformed into little more than leftist indoctrination factories. The issue gets worse and worse each year, but unlike those who cower to the liberal mob, I’m not afraid to call out the root cause of my concern: I graduated from college forty-one years ago and miss being young so, so bad.
Dear God, please make me young again.
Anyone who thinks our universities are still places of serious academia need only take a quick look at their farcical course offerings. “Queer Theory”? “Women’s Studies”? “Computer Science”? Let’s be frank: does anyone actually understand what these mean? I sure don’t, and feeling out of touch scares me so much that I lash out at waitresses.
University life has changed tremendously since I was a student. Back when I was in college, I was a cool, virile twenty-two-year-old with washboard abs and a large group of friends. Students today would struggle to say the same, since I’m sixty-two, my kids hate me, and my doctor says I’m prediabetic.



