In this column, professional speechwriter Chandler Dean provides partly satirical, partly genuine “How To” advice focused on a hyper-specific subcategory of speeches—from graduation speeches to wedding toasts to eulogies, and all the rhetorical occasions in between.
So it’s happy hour, and your beloved colleague is taking their leave after many years of service to the company. You’ve been tasked with capturing exactly what they mean to you, your team, and anyone who doesn’t really know them that well but showed up because the bill is coming out of your department’s discretionary budget.
So remember the fundamental tenets of the collegial farewell toast: