Q: I’ve just learned I have COVID. Should I—
A: Wait. Are you over seventy, and/or are you functioning without an immune system, and/or did you actually listen when we told you to get a booster?
Q: Uh, no, no, and yes.
A: Ah, you’re one of the boring COVID cases then. Go ahead. Ask your questions.
Q: Basically, is there anything I need to do now that I know I have COVID?
A: You should stay home. Unless you don’t have symptoms. If you don’t, you can go out. Or you can stay home then too. Either or.
Q: Should I mask?
A: Yes?
Q: You don’t sound super sure about that.
A: If you want to mask, mask.
Q: Are you guys masking?
A: No. Well, except Linda in phlebotomy.
Q: Have any of you had COVID?
A: Yes. Dozens of times. Linda missed three consecutive months of work in 2020. It was bonkers.
Q: Okay, so I guess I’ll mask. Do I need to stay home from work?
A: Can you work from home?
Q: No, I’m a teacher.
A: Oh, thank you. Our future is literally in your hands.