Constitutional Framers here. We’re just sending a little missive to clear up some confusion. We hear there’s been a bit of hullabaloo regarding the precise meaning of the words our colleagues and we labored over about eight score years ago. We’re here to clarify that we indeed meant what we fucking said.
Some of you are suggesting that when we wrote that someone who previously took an oath “as an officer of the United States … to support the Constitution of the United States” but “engaged in insurrection or rebellion” cannot be president, perhaps we meant something other than the literal fucking meaning of those words.
We can understand the confusion. Sometimes, people’s words are the opposite of what they mean, as when using sarcasm or engaging in a bit of satire. I can assure you that we were not employing such literary devices when we drafted the goddamn Fourteenth Amendment to the US Constitution.


