It’s time to decide who will govern our people. We’ve been hit with higher-than-normal inflation and seen costs for basic commodities rise. That’s why I’m voting for Gork the Merciless to plunder our village.
Gork has promised to slaughter our families, sell our children, burn our houses, steal our land, and enslave our people for generations, but milk prices went up, and even though they’re starting to come down, we might as well see whether Gork’s warlord approach is better for the economy.
Gork the Merciless isn’t bought and sold by any political party. He isn’t beholden to special interests and doesn’t accept contributions or government handouts. He’s a successful, self-made entrepreneur who amassed his fortune by stripping his victims of their belongings. He’s a true outsider—in as much as his forces are massed outside our gates, waiting for voters to endorse his plan to annihilate us.