Hello there, neighbor. We are your friendly corporation moving in next door. We’re taking over this six-story building that used to house various small businesses, artists, and families. Integrating into your community is extremely important to us during this transition, so we’re removing all your parking for the next month.
We’re working with the best designers and engineers to ensure that we bring value to your community. It’s obvious that you don’t need any public spaces, cafés, restaurants, dog parks, playgrounds, or a new fire station. Your nearest grocery store is a mere thirty-minute drive away. What you’re lacking here is corporate offices.
We are committed to keeping you 100 percent in the loop about our construction plans. In fact, we mailed a certified letter to all you abutters—sorry, neighbors—about a Zoom meeting to discuss the project and voice any concerns you might have. You’ll receive this letter promptly three days after the meeting has occurred.
