We recently learned that Bluestar Sleepaway Camp+ Experience, Waystar Royco’s newest venture in premium edutainment catering to our most precious audience members, has run into a few minor hiccups. We want to assure you that we take these allegations as seriously as we take the welfare of your speculative heirs, and we are actively investigating all incidents that supposedly transpired at our campuses in Maine, New Mexico, or Hungary.
Before we comment on our revolutionary curriculum, which has been unjustly described as “scrotum-tightening,” let’s talk about the elephant in the room: Social Darwinism.
The reality is that there have always been winners and losers. We can trot out experts who assure us this is the case. “Controlling the narrative.” “Emotional blackmail.” “The art of the subtle takedown.” These are all ivory tower terms for practices inextricably linked to childhood. Surely no organization can be held responsible for coming-of-age rituals dating back to the Stone Age. We simply combined them with swimming, canoeing, and hyper-decanting wine.
