These bananas are perfect for making banana bread, so I will toss them in the freezer for a few months until I’m ready to pull them out and throw them straight into the trash can. In the meantime, they’ll take up a bunch of space, and I’ll look at them and think, These stupid bananas. I’d like to make a banana loaf because, man, are those delicious warmed up with butter, but I have never made one in my life, will never make one before my dying breath, and don’t even own a loaf pan.
Banana muffins seem like a great little snack for someone who’s a better person than me. I bet someone who comes home at the end of their workday and places their dirty clothes into the hamper rather than piling them on the chair in the corner of the bedroom for the next three weeks would whip up some mean banana muffins. Those little babies would be so soft and fluffy with whatever ingredients make them that way, including these rock-hard, freezer-burned bananas that I will never touch again.