It’s Monday night, and in typical Monday fashion, there is nothing exciting to do. I check my wallet: my driver’s license is expired, so bars are out of the question, bus pass, my dental insurance card—I suppose a teeth whitening wouldn’t be the worst use of my time.
Then I see my Kroger card. I have a normal-sized one for my wallet and a miniature version that hangs off my keychain because I’m that serious about the great discounts it offers on exciting products like generic-brand pasta (cut with sawdust!), generic-brand coffee pods (now with half the coffee grounds!), and any products that the location is eager to get rid of (still food!). Tonight’s club is Kroger, no cover fee required.
There’s a display by the entrance: baskets stuffed with limited-edition packages of a new product by the think tank at General Mills: Spicy CinnaFUEGO Toast Crunch. They’re on sale for Kroger cardholders: three dollars are marked off of their five-dollar price tag. I would be an idiot to pass up such an amazing deal.
