Thanks for coming, everyone. We all know why we’re here: our counterfeit money operation is in danger of going belly up. Now, I don’t want to come down on anyone—this is just about seeing what we can do better.
First off, our “superbill” project has been a disaster. In retrospect, it was misguided to think that a bill would be worth more simply because it is larger. Several bankers pointed this out when we asked them, but we figured they were just jealous because their bills were so tiny. In any case, we’ll have to shutter the initiative because last night a stack of twenties the size of doors fell on Hugo and crushed his spine.
The crane we bought to lift the bills also set us back.

