“Beef between Disney and Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis shows no sign of abating.” — Axios
My fellow Americans, we have a rodent problem.
Mickey Mouse and his handlers at Disney have gone too far.
Florida is where woke goes to die. And I, Ron DeSantis, am running for president so I can kill joy nationally. As the next president of the United States, I promise to slaughter Mickey Mouse. And if killing one universally beloved cultural symbol isn’t enough, I’ll use my pudding-slick fingers to choke every character that brought even a glimmer of joy to your childhood, even if that means snuffing Snow White, asphyxiating Ariel, or throttling Tinker Bell.


