Dear Hiring Manager,
I am excited to apply for a seasonal position at Hobby Lobby. The holidays are a time of joy, and I look forward to creating a timeless masterpiece in big-box retail.
References (attached) say I’m a “Renaissance Man,” an unsurpassed polymath, the most curious man who ever lived. But the title I covet most is customer service associate.
Working the Christmas rush at Hobby Lobby would be my grandest vision fulfilled. No disrespect to your brand name, but crafts are no hobby to me. My whole life, my being, my soul, is DIY. Where the spirit does not work with the hand, there is no art. Or crocheted bobble beards.
I’m a dreamer, but more importantly, I’m a doer. Even a talent-free hack like Michelangelo had to admit, “Give Leo a glue gun and some balsa wood, and he’ll come back with an ornithopter.”
