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In this era of economic turmoil, climate catastrophe, and cliques of cool teens just waiting to make fun of your shoes, we live in a heightened state of fear. We’re afraid of the world and afraid of each other—but not nearly as afraid as we should be! McSweeney’s contributor (and co-executive producer on Family Guy) Evan Waite’s absurdly hilarious survival guide, Life Wants You Dead: A Calm, Rational, and Totally Legit Guide to Scaring Yourself Safe demonstrates that being afraid of literally everything is the only guaranteed way to stay safe.
Today, we’re happy to offer an excerpt from this important and very funny guide.
A muhajir who left India after World War I hoping to restore the Ottoman Caliph, a fighter in the Russian Civil War, a pioneering Indian communist, a member of the Presidium of the Sixth Congress of the Communist International, a frequent resident of the British Raj’s jails; Shaukat Usmani (1901-1978) was many things. But one […]
And… send. Sorry, I’m just wrapping up my application for a six-figure Data Analyst position at a fancy tech startup. Please continue with your interview questions. What makes me the ideal candidate for the open content director position at your fancy tech startup? Terrific question. In a word: verisimilitude.
It’s the believable appearance of success I project as a proud member of the Gen Z workforce, and it’s all thanks to my ever-expanding résumé. I never remain at one job longer than two hours, so my career never stops progressing.
Hang tight while I answer this phone call.
Yes, Mr. Douglas, I’ll have that client pitch completed by EOH. Yes, sir, at the end of the hour. Also, I quit. Thank you for all the mentorship and guidance you’ve bestowed upon me these last 120 minutes. Goodbye.
I quit gambling about fourteen years ago, but for four years before that it was all I could think about. Prior to smartphones, the most addictive and lucrative form of gambling for the industry was digital roulette on Fixed Odds Betting Terminals, machines in betting shops that, until 2019, permitted stakes of £100 per 20-second […]
- by Aeon Video
- by Lucia Tecuta
The 71-year-old veteran peace activist discusses the war on Gaza, the Biden administration, and shaking up Congress.
The post Code Pink’s Medea Benjamin on Disrupting the U.S. War Machine appeared first on The Intercept.
THE parents of Kye Schaefer have made an emotional plea to anyone with information about their son’s murder to come forward. About 6.40am on Thursday 2 May 2024 emergency services were called to Ocean Parade, Coffs Harbour, following reports a man had been stabbed. Advertise with News of The Area today. It’s worth it for...
The post Parents of Kye Schaefer make heartfelt plea for information into son’s murder appeared first on News Of The Area.
This isn’t “politics by other means,” it’s never-ending conflict.
The post Israel Wants Endless War Without the Politics. Biden’s Going Along for the Doomed Ride. appeared first on The Intercept.
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The Annual Fiscal Statement for Australia (aka ‘The Budget’) came out last night and ordinarily I would analyse it today. But I am travelling a lot today and also the wage data came out today, so I plan to leave the fiscal policy commentary until next week when I have more time to think about…
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