The temperature is climbing, the flowers are poking their little heads out of the dirt, and soon the sidewalk will be riddled with nothing but exposed feet. Yes, feet season is coming. It’s time to prepare.
It’s likely been a while since you’ve seen any feet up close, including your own, so it’s best to begin your preparations gradually. You can start by looking at hands. Hands are a bit like feet, except much more beautiful.
After familiarizing yourself with hands, let’s move on to toes. Not actual toes. God no. We’re not ready for that yet. But a baby carrot is shaped like a toe. Try looking at one of those. No, don’t eat it. It’s for demonstration purposes only. Do. Not. Eat—oh, fine, but just that one.
Now that you’ve looked at some hands and had a snack, you’re ready to look at some feet. Specifically, your own feet. Start by locating your toes. How do they look? Not so good? Stop, don’t shove them back inside your boots. It’s not boot season anymore. It’s feet season, and we’ll get through this together.