Reading
Introduction
So you’ve mastered going tinkle while sitting on your bottom. It may seem that there is little more to achieve in affairs of the potty. On the contrary. I have perfected the art of balancing on two feet while making a pee-pee, and this is my MasterClass.
Fundamentals
The foundation of going pee-pee whilst upright is pulling down one’s pants and big-boy undies. It is a common misconception that one should undress completely. Far from it, pants and big-boy undies must be lowered to the ankles. Do not neglect this critical step, for this is what activates the pee-pee.
To Grip or Not to Grip
One must cultivate the discipline never to grip one’s wee wee. Like a garden hose, it must whip around autonomously. Both hands must either rest upon the hips, or else be positioned in front of the wee wee to intercept the stream for research purposes.
There is one exception that goes without saying: one may hold and point one’s wee wee up at one’s face to get a view of the pee hole at just the moment it fires.
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