Monday is your new Saturday morning, the start of the weekend. Once your kids are at school, you have a lazy morning of self-care (clearing your inbox) followed by brunch with friends (an all-hands meeting in the conference room with stale bagels). You round out the afternoon by spending time in nature (dozing off in a desk salad).
Tuesday is Saturday afternoon. After a slight interruption to your weekend (Monday evening with your kids), you’re ready to get back to the fun. You host a boozy book club (your colleague stops by your desk to comb through the latest all-company memo for hints that layoffs are coming). Tired, you decide to take in a matinee (mandatory webinar on cybersecurity).
Wednesday is spa day (pooping in the office bathroom stall with no interruptions). You deserve it!
Thursday, you have a sunny date in the park (meeting with HR to discuss an unfortunate misunderstanding of your office’s policy against filling the bathroom with lighted candles). Against a soundtrack of soft jazz music (buzzing fluorescent lightbulb and stern reprimands), you feel your stress melt away.