Mom, Dad, we just wanted to assure you that your trust-fund son’s transplant was a success.
We weren’t too concerned—transplants to Brooklyn have a 98 percent success rate—but there can always be complications.
A transplant can reject its new host city in the event of a few conditions:
- Doorman deficiency
- Pre-existing neighborhood culture
- Persistent small businesses
Just make sure to monitor his rent levels closely. If all’s well, they should continue to climb indefinitely.
The procedure was minimally invasive, just a small incision in the heart of the neighborhood. We see thousands of cases like this every month, so you really have nothing to worry about. Plus, we made all the necessary preparations to ensure a smooth integration: