Hi there, just stopping by to thank you for your loyalty. It’s flattering, really, how you find a way to wedge me into every email, team meeting, and LinkedIn post.
Look, you and I both know why I’m summoned so frequently. I am to vocabulary what a vintage wine is to a dinner party—a not-so-subtle attempt to impress. Like a bottle of Château Lafite Rothschild, I am plucked from the linguistic cellar and dusted off to add sophistication and depth to any conversation.
After all, why settle for the tragically impotent verb “use” when you can utilize “utilize” to showcase your rock-hard lexical prowess?
With me, you’re rising above the plebs. You’re parading your intellect down the boulevard of erudite elitism, waving at the adoring masses who marvel at your linguistic finery.
You know, there’s a reason why my nickname is The Architect. I transform your ideas into such lofty cathedrals of thought that your audience can’t help but gaze upwards, awestruck by the towering complexity of your language and superior cognition. Hope they have a good chiropractor for that neck strain!