“You MUST see The Lion King.”
The last time you were in New York, Michael Bloomberg was mayor and nobody knew what a cronut was.
“Why not try kayaking on the Hudson?”
You do not actually like living in New York City.
“Corner bodega bacon, egg, and cheese sandwich.”
You haven’t been north of 23rd Street in seven years.
“Go to a poetry slam in the East Village and then spend a few hours just getting lost in The Strand.”
You do not have, nor have you met, children.
“Try the steak frites au poivre at La Bonne.”
You work in finance. What you know of the world is not applicable to 97 percent of the population.
“Go to Max’s Kansas City and order a beef shish kebab.”
You are Fran Lebowitz in 1978.
“Museum of Ice Cream!”
You have children between the ages of five and nine. The last time you tried to go to The Strand, you forgot the ziplock of Cheerios and had to spend $24.95 on a sticker and jewel mosaic set to avoid a public meltdown.