Reading
Our 9th most-read article of 2023.
Originally published July 7, 2023.
The two-hour drive on winding mountain roads is pleasant, since my twin preschoolers have only ever listened to hip indie music, so we never have to subject ourselves to a constant loop of “Baby Shark.” I whisper, “Good luck,” to the other families who are stopped along the side of the road so their kids can throw up from motion sickness. They must not know about ginger candy.
When we arrive at the campsite, my kids get to work constructing elaborate pinecone bird feeders while my husband and I put up the tent. Having two kids so they can keep each other entertained works just as well as people said it would. They always play together peacefully and never fight over toys or get into a screaming match over who gets the biggest stick they find.
Our 10th most-read article of 2023.
Originally published January 10, 2023.
1. Digging for Clams
What the hell is Betsy doing in the bathroom for so long? Digging for clams?
2. Spelunking
My Tinder date was so pathetic I would have had a way better time spelunking—and I have a hook for a hand!
3. Tickling My Fancy
Oh, hi, Mom. No, I’m not busy, just tickling my fancy. What, you too?
4. Flicking Fiona
What the fuck? Are you flicking Fiona? Both hands on the wheel, bitch. We’re on the freeway!
5. Slugging the Sister
Some say roof repair and slugging the sister make a dangerous combination, but I call that shit multitasking.
6. Damning the Beaver
Who can blame me for damning the beaver? That was the most boring Christmas pageant ever!