“Earth just broke records for its hottest day” — Vox (7/26/2023)
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We can’t believe we’re saying this, but for the first time since Satan’s fall from Heaven, Earth is hotter than Hell.
To celebrate, we are opening our gates and allowing anyone from Earth to visit—not just the eternally damned. Contrary to popular belief, it’s not all fire and brimstone, and unlike what’s happening on Earth, our weather is highly predictable. You can read about it in Dante’s travel blog. Our third and ninth circles are actually quite refreshing.
For example, in Circle Three, we force people to lie in a slushy mix of shadows and putrid water, subjecting them to never-ending icy rain. Sure, it’s a pretty miserable experience, but compared to what’s currently happening in Arizona, you might find it invigorating.