Dear Literary Agent —
As you know, it’s a tough time in the publishing industry right now. Concerned citizens are demanding that certain books be pulled from school and public libraries, and it seems no writer knows which books will be left on the shelf for children to read.
Except for me.
I am seeking representation for my work in progress, which is guaranteed to never, ever be banned. My book THANK YOU, WHITE CHRISTIAN STRAIGHT MAN is educational and inspiring. Most importantly, it is a book that will never prompt a middle-aged white woman named Jynifer to “go full Mama Bear, y’all” at a school board meeting.