Originally published November 26, 2013.
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And after the feaste, which did consist of water-fowl, and cod and bass and other fishes, and a great many wylde turkeys, the people of Plymouth did retire. And upon awakening they were greeted with many goodly savings, on itemes of considerable necessitie, and just in tyme for the forthcoming holidaye season!
Shoes of sturdy leather were to be had for the low, low sum of a single raccoonâs pelt, and milking cow discounts did flood with joye anyone able to parse the true meaning of âhalf-off.â Values on corn, squash, peas, and barley likewise were out of this (New!) worlde; and the peopleâs clamour to purchase a canoe, a novel form of transport that many did consider the hot new gift, was so immense that for some poore souls it did prove injurious.
The canoe came with not one, but two paddles!
Children cried out for the latest in earthen wares, stickes carvâd to resemble swords and lances, and the itemes, most useful in rough housing and horse play, did seem to fly off the shelves, such was the zeale of the demand.