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The following is a transcript of the UN trial of Tony Patterson, a terrible barber charged with crimes against hair-manity. The trial took place at The Hague. The transcript has been edited to highlight portions of Patterson’s cross-examination.

PROSECUTOR: On the morning of April 3rd, [name redacted] walked into King Cutz looking for a high-top fade. Do you recall what you said to him?

TONY: “I got you, bro.”

PROSECUTOR: That sounds like an assurance of quality. And what was the duration of that haircut?

TONY: I knocked it out in eight minutes.

(Murmurs ripple through crowd.)

PROSECUTOR: Hmm, seems pretty fast for the “dope cut” that was promised. Usually, it takes forty minutes to make that shit look fresh. Could it be that you were trying to wrap things up before the Eagles game came on?

TONY: It was the playoffs!

PROSECUTOR: And you were at work. Were you aware that this client was attending a party that night?

The neoliberal obsession with privatising essential industries and services is haunting the UK. Profiteering by gas, oil, railways, mail and other entities is the root cause of the current high inflation and misery for millions. The water industry has been hoisted by its own profiteering, and Thames Water, England’s largest water and sewage business, is […]

Byline Times investigates the financial and ideological links surrounding the Michaela School, delving into their potential impact on educational policies and practices.

The MVC team discusses the bizarre 2000s comedy and the phenomenon of “male amnesia.”

Nostalgia is a longing for the past, but psychologists are coming to realise it can focus on the future too

- by Shayla Love

Read at Psyche

Since ratifying a contract, academic workers at University of California, San Diego have faced what they say is an escalating retaliation campaign.

The post California Grad Students Won a Historic Strike. UC San Diego Is Striking Back With Misconduct Allegations and Arrests. appeared first on The Intercept.

An analysis suggests that a rebound in labor force participation among women with a partner and child could have been stronger during the pandemic if not dampened by child care costs.

“People feel very let down" by Sir Keir Starmer, the Unite leader tells Byline Times.

Last year, on 1 October 2022 the Government quietly announced that smart meter data would be collected in order to assess the bills reduction scheme following energy price hikes last year. The changes were flagged in privacy policies and were unaccompanied by any details or explanation of exactly why the data was being collected or […]

Okay so the right-wing SCOTUS justices are aliens. So what!

Tune into Zaslav TV.

. One of Vangelis’ many masterpieces.

That I have no idea who Barbara Walters is doesn’t matter nearly as much as the fact that this is the Times.

Let me try to focus my thoughts from the previous post. Do is as do does. Agent-like entities are equivalent to real agents. If GPT-4 can trick people into thinking it’s a trickster, it’s a trickster. If you can mimic a chess master, you’re a chess master. It’s fun to wonder whether there will be […]

Source - Patreon

In fact, Trump won every voter in the country both times he ran. It’s just the Deep State rigged it so it looked like he didn’t I hope they have that on tape. I think it could be useful in an ad, don’t you?

Source - Patreon

A thought experiment plumbs archaeology and geology to ask whether our own species will leave a trace.

The post Could an Industrial Civilization Have Predated Humans on Earth? appeared first on Nautilus.

There’s something amiss in the whistleblowers’ tale CNN reports: US Attorney David Weiss, who is overseeing the Hunter Biden criminal probe, says in a letter obtained by CNN that he did not ask to be named as a special counsel and was never refused authority to bring charges anywhere in the country, refuting two key allegations from IRS whistleblowers. Weiss’ comments, in a letter sent Monday to GOP Sen. Lindsey Graham of South Carolina, go against claims from IRS whistleblower Gary Shapley and one of his deputies, who said they witnessed political interference in investigation of President Joe Biden’s son. They testified to Congress that during an October 2022 meeting, Weiss said he had requested to be named as a special counsel but was denied by Justice Department leadership. But Weiss said in the new letter that he never requested special counsel status, but rather explored becoming a “special attorney” under a different statute. “I have not requested Special Counsel designation,” Weiss wrote to Graham on Monday. “Rather, I had discussions with Departmental officials regarding potential appointment under 28 U.S.C.

The Liberal party has put word out that should their leader Peter Dutton lose the upcoming Fadden by-election, then they will replace him with a pot plant. ”Dutts knows that he needs to pull something out of the bag,” said... Read More ›

Well, it looks as though they’ve another way to perform for the cult. It’s a meaningless waste of time but it does have the benefit of degrading our democracy even further. Hunter at DKos has the story: Well, here we go again. House Republicans have been shrieking that they’re going to impeach a whole passel of top officials in the Joe Biden administration for supposed crimes that include investigating seditionist Donald Trump too much and investigating Hunter Biden too little, but every once in a while one of them remembers that Congress also has the power to simply zero out the salaries of any executive branch employees they don’t particularly like. It’s akin to a bill of attainder targeting a particular executive official’s career. Frustrated congressional cornballs have been sporadically remembering the power for years now, especially whenever some government agency does something that they really super do not like but can’t muster the legislative votes to actually change.