Below, please find the definitive right-of-way regulations for New York City’s bike lanes. Any lower-ranked item must yield to any higher-ranked item.
1. Marked NYPD vehicles
2. Unmarked NYPD vehicles
3. Vehicles with a Thin Blue Line flag bumper sticker
4. A dumpster with the Punisher logo on it
5. Film crews for Blue Bloods
6. Vehicles whose owner’s cousin used to work for the city (any city is fine)
7. Amazon delivery trucks
8. Pedestrians walking against traffic
9. Any double-parked motorized vehicle
10. Regular film crews
11. Any motorized vehicle whose driver “just needs to check something”
12. Tourists waiting to cross the street who might not realize they are standing in the bike lane
13. Abandoned vehicles
14. Pizza Rat
15. Revelers and merrymakers
16. Bearded men screaming, “The End is near!”
17. Currently on-fire vehicles
18. Calzone Mouse
19. Street preachers