“The Blue Origin flight showcased the utter defeat of American feminism.”
— Moira Donegan, The Guardian.
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Jeff, my man. It’s Dave. How the hell are you? Oh, fine, fine. Wife’s good, kids are good. Great. Listen, uh—we got a situation. We forgot one. In space.
No, not Katy Perry, thank God. She’s running the press circuit like a champ. Gayle’s accounted for. Lauren, too, though I’ll happily shoot her back up there if you need a break from nag, nag, nag. Hell, maybe she can take my wife too. Kidding, Jeff! Kidding.
No, uh—it’s Big Gert, the Blue Origin toilet tech. Yeah, the one with the Neanderthal brow ridge and the exceedingly rare aeronautic plumbing certification? Yeah, Jeff, she’s, uh—she’s still up there, apparently.