Go to a festival or fair. Stand in the longest line you can find. Buy something you don’t want.
Wake up at dawn on a Saturday morning. Make pancakes. Peel an orange. Fill two bottles of water. Sing the ABC’s twenty times. Do all of this before you have coffee. Bonus points if you do it before you pee.
Pick a random Nickelodeon show aimed at seven-year-olds. Make sure it sucks. Watch it repeatedly until you start to develop a Stockholm syndrome affection for it.
Sit down. Get back up. Sit down again. Get back up. Walk two miles around the kitchen. Go up and down the stairs three times. Sit down. Get back up. Repeat until you want to cry.
Get ready two hours early. Wait until it’s time to leave and then decide it is imperative to count every piece of silverware you have. Do not leave your house until you’re a half hour late.
Insist visitors arrive with a new rock or stick. Instruct them to place them in new and interesting places.
Go to a bar. Find an angry drunk. Attempt to convince them they need to calm down and go to bed. Do not react when they swing at you. Continue to be gentle but firm.