Have you thought to yourself, “I wonder what’s at the bottom of that huge fucking pit?” Probably not, considering we’re located twenty-seven miles down a dirt road. Welcome to Serenity Oasis Quarry and Mineral Mine.
Straddling the border of Kansas and Missouri, this natural wonder was birthed into existence when prospectors en route to California lost steam and decided to blast a giant hole in the ground they were already on to see if there was any mineral of literally any value. There wasn’t.
We’re so happy to have you here.
To enter the quarry, take the stairs. All 576 of them. They’re wooden, so if it rained recently, they’ll be slippery. If it hasn’t rained, they’ll still be slippery. Discretion is advised. Cleats recommended. Hard hats required. Admittance: $10.
There is also an elevator, but it’s a dumbwaiter pulley system from 1952, run by Quarry Dan. He’s the strongest man this side of the Mississippi when it comes to operating a dumbwaiter pulley system from 1952, but he takes a lot of smoke breaks, so service is sporadic.
Beware of bats. Especially at 9 a.m. What’s the opposite of nocturnal? That’s what the quarry bats are.