“Mark Zuckerberg lamented the rise of ‘culturally neutered’ companies that have sought to distance themselves from ‘masculine energy,’ adding that it’s good if a culture ‘celebrates the aggression a bit more.’” — Financial Review
HR now stands for “Hims Repository.”
Intra-office communication shall address recipient with one of the following: Bro, Bro-han, Brocephus, Brocifer, Dawg, or Bro-Dawg
Fluoride in the office water has been replaced with a compound of Red Bull and beef jerky.
All job candidates must show proficiency in Excel, PowerPoint, and Hot or Not.
Press releases containing the typo “pubic relations” will no longer be corrected.
Beginning Monday, all transphobic posts on Facebook and Instagram will be “pre-liked.”
Twenty percent of all cans of complimentary seltzer and sparkling water will be aggressively shaken, ensuring they will explode in the opener’s face.


