Why did the banana split?
It found out it was going to be a father.
Why do dads love mowing the lawn?
They see lawn care as maintaining their property and protecting their substantial investment. It’s also the one time they can be alone with their thoughts.
Why couldn’t the dad sleep?
He was worried about money.
Why didn’t the dad want to have kids?
He was worried that he would pass on the gene for Huntington’s disease.
Did you hear about the dad who loved Eagles songs?
All dads love Eagles songs. It reminds them of their carefree youth.
Knock-knock!
Who’s there?
Hello, may I speak with the man of the house about the electricity bill?
Get off my porch.
KID: I’m hungry.
DAD: Hi, hungry. I’m tired.
Why do dads fart so much?
Their bodies are aging and breaking down.


