7:00-8:30 A.M. Wake up whenever I want—no kids!
9 A.M. Open library, feeling refreshed and ready for the day.
10:30 A.M. Send another overdue notice to the impish man who checked out Tom Sawyer months ago and listed last known address as “Heaven.” Men like this are why I’m a single spinster.
12:30 P.M. Head to the eye doctor after lunch. Need new glasses as eyesight continues to deteriorate due to being said single spinster. Told by doctor it could improve if I cut down on reading and start dating adult men who shout “Hee-haw!”
1:30 P.M. Go straight to chiropractor from eye doctor to check on weird gait I picked up. Given similar advice: condition is degenerative and can only be corrected with holy matrimony.
2:15 P.M. Return to library. Intend to ignore medical advice but have strange urge to find man who will lasso me the moon.
2:30 P.M. Catalog some books. Read some books. Take quick midafternoon break and head to The Old Maid Store. Purchase new ugly hat and unflattering trench.