1. “Oh, we don’t care about closets!”
2. “These steep Dutch stairs seem super safe.”
3. “We’re fine with a one-bedroom. No one will visit us in Paris.”
4. “Our kids don’t need a yard in Kyoto. Fuck ’em.”
5. “Ideally, we’d like a galley kitchen with one outlet and a hot plate.”
6. “No pets in this Munich apartment? That’s cool. We’ll leave the family dog in Philly.”
7. “Just one sink in the primary bath, please. We prefer to share.”
8. “Our family of five can easily make do with a fridge that’s the same size as the one I had in my college dorm.”
9. “The third bedroom is a detached bungalow near the poolside bar? We’d totally trust our teenager back there.”
10. “I completely understand that American kitchens are oversized compared to kitchens in Barcelona—and everywhere else in the world—and I have adjusted my expectations accordingly.”
11. “We’re not looking for British charm.”
