1. Spirit Week continues into perpetuity. No theme will ever be repeated, and your children will need unique costumes every day for the rest of their lives.
2. Out of nowhere, you have another child you have no memory of giving birth to. He’s in third grade, and tomorrow is the first day of Spirit Week. He tells you he needs a toga to wear to school and that you have forgotten to vaccinate or feed him for the past eight years.
3. You are contacted by the middle school you attended. In 1998, you failed to return the Paso a Paso Spanish-language student learning CD-ROM companion set to the library and, therefore, never graduated eighth grade. If you do not redo the semester, it will invalidate all subsequent education you ever received. They are expecting you tomorrow at 8 a.m. It’s Spirit Week, and you have a major project due. You are forty years old, and tomorrow you will give an oral presentation in Spanish in your wackiest pajamas.