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After an eight-year hiatus, our Column Contest triumphantly returned (thanks in no small part to the support from our Patreon members). We received over 400 entries. As with past contests, this year’s group featured many worthy winners. After much deliberation, we’re excited to announce the three grand-prize-winning columns. They are, in random order:
“Chronicles of a Catsitter” by Mai Tran
Mai Tran began catsitting in 2021 while they were on pandemic unemployment, often staying overnight in people’s homes. Tran has now cared for twenty-two cats and traveled to ten apartments all over New York City, observing the interior lives of cat owners and appeasing their neuroses. From home vet visits to black eyes to refugee cats, “Chronicles of a Catsitter” documents Tran’s most memorable days on the job.
“Sorry Not Sorry” by Laurence Pevsner
A column about why we’re sick of everyone apologizing all the time—and how the collapse of the public apology leaves little room for forgiveness and grace in our politics and culture.
Daniel Smith embarked upon the trail within the Apple II computer game, under the guidance of fifth grader Jordan Welch of Ann Arbor, Michigan, in 1992.
August 12, 1843
Day 1
Today we set off on our two-thousand-mile journey to the fertile Willamette Valley at the Oregon Trail’s terminus. Our Lord Jordan guides my hand along this venture, and I trust He will keep us safe until we reach salvation. I take with me my family members; my wife Emily, and my children Mary, Jeb, and Abby. Although they are good Christian names, the Lord has decided to change them. My wife apparently will now be called Pizza. And my children are now named, Butt, Shredder, and KenGriffeyJr. Despite my misgivings my patient wife reassures me that the Lord doth move in mysterious ways. He also went ahead and renamed me DorkNutZ, but I care not if it gets us to Providence.
- by Psyche Film