Reading

Dear Young Masters, Mistresses, and Distinguished Guests,

Over countless generations, it has been our honor to wait upon the lords and ladies of Saltburn as they set the standard for elegance, refinement, and homosocial outdoor nudity. However, the mess you have been creating of late has become intolerable.

Do you ever wonder why the turnover of a footman is notoriously high? Or why the preparations for last season’s Blacklight Gala took over a month? Or why we passive-aggressively served you runny eggs as a hint that you, too, might not enjoy having to mop up a mess of unfertilized goo before 9 a.m. on a Sunday?

We can hold our tongues no longer. We need to discuss the stains.

The intimate stains.

Conservatively, we are spending almost as much time on our hands and knees as you are. Do you have any notion of the volume of ejaculate we’ve scrubbed from your great-great-great-grandmother’s chaise longue? It’s concerning. Scrubbing endangers the brocade.

2023 was a year marked by devastating conflicts from Russia’s ongoing invasion of Ukraine to Hamas’s horrific terror attacks on Israel, from that country’s indiscriminate mass slaughter in Gaza to a devastating civil war in Sudan. And there’s a distinct risk of even worse to come this year. Still, there was one clear winner in this avalanche of violence, suffering, and war: the U.S. military-industrial complex. In December, President Biden signed a record authorization of $886 billion in “national defense” spending for 2024, including funds for the Pentagon proper and work on nuclear weapons at the Department of Energy. Add to that tens of billions of dollars more in likely emergency military aid for Ukraine and Israel, and such spending could... Read more

Comedian and musician Tim Heidecker hit the road last summer for his Two Tims tour. It featured two acts: a stand-up comedy set by his alter ego, “Tim Heidecker,” a hacky, misogynist idiot; and live music by the real Tim Heidecker & The Very Good Band. His diary of the tour, From the Bus, is one of the three mini-books that make up McSweeney’s 72. Our website editor, Chris Monks, caught up with Tim recently to discuss the book, his music, and his comedy career.

CHRIS MONKS: From the Bus is the first thing I’ve read by you that isn’t in the voice of one of your personas. Was it refreshing writing it, given you’re often writing absurd, exaggerated versions of yourself?

Thanks for the flowers, Tim. I suppose no one exactly expects to randomly fall into a ninety-six-month-long coma—it’s all still a bit disorienting, of course, but the hydrangeas provide a nice little burst of color in this hospital room.

I just caught up with all the news I missed these last eight years, and phew, it certainly sounds like everyone got put through the wringer. What a waking dystopian nightmare—can’t say I’m sad I spent it all on ice. Well, I imagine it at least feels pretty good knowing there’s no way in hell people would fall for that rotten fake billionaire again, right?

… Right?

Okay, now hold on a moment. You’re telling me that barring an act of God, he is once again statistically the only GOP ghoul capable of clinching the Republican nomination? Again? After straight-up losing last time? And, you know, all the crimes and trials and documented corruption and open admissions of guilt?

- by Enrico Gnaulati

Read at Psyche

- by Evan C Rothera

Read at Aeon

Both state-level data and individual-level data suggest that periods with low unemployment rates are also periods with more rapid wage growth, an analysis finds.