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Created
Tue, 01/04/2025 - 23:00

Dear ICE official(s),

I noticed you recently detained your first Iranian foreign national. As a first-generation Iranian American, I’ve been conditioned to assume this is a testament to our great Persian culture. At least I’m sure that’s what my dad will say. Is he from Shiraz?

I just had a few questions ahead of any potential deportation and/or the disappearance of myself or my family members.

I know a lot of people might criticize your lack of a formal DEI initiative, but I want to commend the diversity of the first batch of students you’re detaining. It’s like the cast of The Sex Lives of College Girls, if you swapped the white girls for a South Korean and a Palestinian.

Speaking of college, are you deporting only Western, South, and Eastern Asians (and Muslim Africans) with impressive educations? I noticed that, thus far, most of them are pursuing their PhDs. If it helps, despite pleas from my dad, I have no interest in being an MD or PhD.

Created
Tue, 01/04/2025 - 11:32

Close to Chingford Station in the suburbs of east London and along a path leading into Epping Forest, large iron gates stand at the entrance to Hawkwood Plant Nursery. Rows of fruit and vegetables are planted all around. Fields replete with raised beds and a forest garden provide the backdrop to a large glasshouse connected […]

Created
Tue, 01/04/2025 - 10:30

“The COVID-19 pandemic is over, and H.H.S. will no longer waste billions of taxpayer dollars responding to a nonexistent pandemic that Americans moved on from years ago.” — Andrew Dixon, spokesperson for the Department of Health and Human Services.

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We in the federal government have recently unearthed a scandal of epic proportions: During the previous administration, trillions of taxpayer dollars were wasted on “programs” intended to “help” “people.” Effective immediately, this administration vows not to waste any taxpayer money on anything, because nothing is real.

Do you have any idea how much taxpayer money the government has been spending on “education”? Neither do I, but I know it’s not zero dollars. And here’s the thing: Education is free.

(To be clear, the school where my kids go is not free. That’s why we need vouchers to pay for it.)

Created
Tue, 01/04/2025 - 06:56
Yinz remember my friend Jenny in the UK? She’s the super-cool girl who runs Silver Screen Suppers and wrote a bunch of books: She is currently working on a sequel to  Murder, She Cooked (a book of recipes from celebrities who appeared on the Angela Lansbury show) and asked me to do a recipe testContinue reading Tippi Hedrin’s Lobster “Mirin” and Golden Potato Salad (1970)
Created
Tue, 01/04/2025 - 04:00

You’ve probably wondered about me, the independent thinker in your social network. I’m one part libertarian, one part populist, and one part common sense. I care about the same things you do: a backyard BBQ with my neighbors, my family’s safety, and the sanctity of women’s collegiate swimming.

I’m a maverick who can’t be pigeonholed. I listen to not only smooth jazz but slightly less smooth jazz. I’ve been red-pilled, but I think The Matrix was just okay. I voted for Trump, but I respect Democrats like John Fetterman who are willing to reach across the aisle to promote ethnic cleansing. And I’m still a Bernie fan, even though I openly mock AOC and Elizabeth Warren for subscribing to 90 percent of the same policies, for reasons, I assure you, I will never ask myself a single hard question about, because I’m not bound by your restrictive mental framework.

Created
Tue, 01/04/2025 - 03:03
What is it that people desire when they desire riches? It may seem strange that once all basic needs are fulfilled, individuals would continue to strive for ever more, working ever harder, even at the cost of their own health. Why don’t they just enjoy life, with more time, and less stress, on their hands? […]