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Created
Sat, 31/05/2025 - 04:00

6:30 a.m. I awaken from sleep with the unparalleled energy of someone who has an entire school-sanctioned day to humiliate their offspring.

6:55 a.m. Peering into my closet, I select the skinniest jeans I own—seriously, I haven’t worn these since before my preteen was born. No matter. I squeeze my unforgiving middle-aged body into them while double-checking that I still have the breathing capacity for yelling at middle schoolers every ten seconds.

7:30 a.m. I bound to the kitchen to pack my child the smelliest lunch possible, ideally some combination of tuna salad and egg salad. Naturally, I make sure to tuck in a note including several giant drawn hearts and “I LOVE YOU!!!”s. I sign off using the name my child used to call me when they were three years old.

8:15 a.m. We arrive at the school parking lot and gather by the bus for head counts. I immediately announce myself to everyone as my child’s parent, being sure to enunciate their full (including middle) name.

Created
Sat, 31/05/2025 - 01:10

“The term ‘TACO,’ short for Trump Always Chickens Out, has been used to describe how markets tumble on the president’s tariff threats, then rebound when he gives way.”New York Times

- - -

GRAPE - Gift Received, Announced Pardon Early

PORK - Presidential Order Rewarding Kleptocracy

CHEESE - Classic Hillbilly Elegy, Earning Stablecoin Emoluments

BACON - Barron Accepted, College Officially Normalized

EGG - Executive Grift-Golfing

MILK - Maliciously Ignorant, Like Kennedy

MACKEREL - Musk Around: Conceal Ketamine, Ecstasy, Ritalin, Ephedrine, LSD

Created
Fri, 30/05/2025 - 22:30

The Desperado: They get a dreamy look in their eyes, then, before you know it, swoop in quick as a bandit and shove their tongue down your throat.

The Zombie: Their lips are stiff and dead, and you want to whisper, “Pucker up, you lifeless weirdo,” but you can feel yourself become infected, the passion slowly draining.

The Lollipopper: They suck on your tongue like a child sucking on a Tootsie Pop. You want to say, “Hey, that’s bad, stop that,” but you can’t speak, because your tongue is vacuum-locked in their death grip.

The Kubrick: Toward the end of a long, intense make-out, you realize their eyes are open—and you get the creeping sense they’ve been open the whole time.

The Escher: You try to get solid contact, but the angles are just wrong. Their head is strangely tilted, and their lips don’t obey the laws of Euclidean geometry. Nothing makes sense.

Created
Fri, 30/05/2025 - 20:45
The ideas of economists and political philosophers, both when they are right and when they are wrong, are more powerful than is commonly understood. Indeed the world is ruled by little else. Practical men, who believe themselves to be quite exempt from any intellectual influences, are usually the slaves of some defunct economist. Madmen in […]
Created
Fri, 30/05/2025 - 17:00
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May 30th, 2025next

May 30th, 2025: This comic was inspired by me having ice cream in a snowstorm, and I must tell you: IT'S GREAT.

Created
Fri, 30/05/2025 - 13:02

Top Israeli lawmakers have accused their government of laundering massive sums through a shadowy network of US humanitarian and mercenary orgs. The weaponized aid initiative is the linchpin of Israel’s plan to ethnically cleanse northern Gaza by forcing the starving population into concentration camp-like hubs. Israel’s scheme to commandeer aid distribution in Gaza ended in chaos on May 27, with Israeli soldiers reportedly opening fire on stampeding crowds of hungry Palestinians after just 8000 boxes of rations were handed out […]

The post Israeli Mossad named as funder of Gaza Humanitarian Foundation first appeared on The Grayzone.

The post Israeli Mossad named as funder of Gaza Humanitarian Foundation appeared first on The Grayzone.

Created
Fri, 30/05/2025 - 12:54

Earlier this month the foreign secretary, David Lammy, described Israel’s latest assault on Gaza as ‘intolerable’ and ‘monstrous’ in Parliament. Noting his apparent pain — ‘as a lifelong friend of Israel’ — at having to issue such a statement, he decried the futility of military strategy in recovering the Israeli hostages and defeating Hamas. He […]